Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
