I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
