now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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