It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Someone came in the potted fern
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
