I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
