Can i not drive my cunt home
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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