Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
