You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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