4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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