Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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