5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Four minutes until I can fart!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
