fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
