If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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