I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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