Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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