the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
