8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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