So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
