He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
