the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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