Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize