Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
