if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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