Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
