Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
