People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
