what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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