jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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