Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
