i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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