Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
