I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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