Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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