Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
