im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
