How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
