hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Randomize
