i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
