im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
