he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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