I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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