I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
