pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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