she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
