Barsexuality is the new black.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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