i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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