would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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