what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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