Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
