so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
