Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
