So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
