Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Im part way to drunk.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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