The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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