Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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