no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
