Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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