i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
