I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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