OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
