Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize