It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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