Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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