yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
