using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
