She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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