Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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