She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
