It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize