Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
