Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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