Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
