Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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