guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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