whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
