She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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