Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
