I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i came on her dog
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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