it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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