Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
